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Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on here. I think I was coming on here too much, because it got boring. I guess I don’t really know why I’m on here now, cause who knows when I’ll get on again. lol. It might just be because it’s 1:45am right now, and I feel like telling you what has been happening with my life lately.

hmm, where to begin? Well, I’m supposed to go see an actual Therapist soon, because my anxiety has(and really has been for a long time) gotten so bad that I am unable to work and is really the main reason that I do nothing, I sit at home, because I feel like doing that, and only that. That is so fucked up. As a matter of fact, my anxiety is just terrible in general. I don’t even know how to explain all the issues with that. People who don’t have an anxiety/panic disorder, do not understand what I’m going through. They can be supportive, and be there for me, but they’ll never understand. I couldn’t put it into words even, so I wouldn’t know how to explain my problems to other people….Just google it, is all I say. lol.

Justin and his family just basically got kicked out of the POS mobile home they were staying at. The reason being that his parents are irresponsible and don’t know how to pay their bills on time. His mom thought she could scramble to find some place else to live but to no avail. They had to rent a storage unit to put all their stuff in. I felt bad for Justin, because after working almost 8 hours, he’d have to go help move shit after work. The thing with the trailer park, if they tell you to get out on a certain day, and you aren’t out, they have movers come in, take your shit and put it on the front lawn, which is what happened. Luckily we had gotten all of Justin’s stuff in storage already.

So, right now as I type this, Justin is sleeping peacefully(I hope) in my bed since he has work in the morning. My dad and mom told him that he’s always welcome to stay here, for as long as he needs, which was really awesome and special to hear my dad and mom say that. I’m glad my family likes having him around as much as I do. :) His parents are staying with someone from their family for tonight, and I don’t know what they’re doing after that. Because who knows when they’re going to find somewhere to move to!

And for the dogs… Belle is staying at a pet boarding place, unfortunately. I really hated to take her there and leave her, but we really had no place else for her. If I didn’t have so many animals, and they could all get along, it might have been different. But we get to go visit whenever we want, which is good, because we don’t know how long we’ll have to keep her there.

Unfortunately, we had to put our baby boy Adam to sleep on the 6th :(. He was 15 years old, which is amazing for a dog, and especially a dog his size. He definitely had arthritis, I’m sure, and he just looked in so much pain. Trouble walking, barely eating. I think the stress from having to move was taking a toll on him too. Justin and I were the ones who took him to get it done. We stopped off at McDonalds and got him an ice cream cone, and I got him a couple of pigs in a blanket that my mom made, for him to eat. That was a rough car ride.

I will tell you though, I’ve NEVER went into the room and stayed while one of my animals has been put to sleep, but I went in there this time. I knew it was going to be tough, but in all honesty, it was really incredibly peaceful. Of course, I cried, but I just kind of felt a calmness over me after it happened. I am absolutely heart broken that he’s gone, because he was an amazing dog. I wish that we didn’t have to do that, as I’m sure most people do, but it really was the right thing to do. We’ll definitely miss having him around and love him just as much as we did before :).

To be straight up people, If you ever have to put your animal to sleep, PLEASE go in the room with your pet. No matter how hard it may be for you, it will honestly be hard for your pet too. Pets sense stress, and they truly do feed off of our emotions. Do not ever just drop your pet off because “it’s too hard to handle”. Imagine how scared that pet would be. And to tell you the truth, from my experience with doing my vet assistant internship, when you drop your pet off to be put to sleep, and you’re not going to stay, they RARELY put your pet to sleep right then. As a matter of fact, your pet goes into the back and gets put in a cage until they’re not “too busy” and have time to get around to that. So, try to remember that if you ever have to go through doing that. I really think it’ll better for you emotionally, to be with your pet. It’s always been the hardest for me, when I wasn’t in there with them.

So, that has been my life lately… I don’t think I’m missing anything. haha. But, I do think it’s time to lay in the bed and read before I officially go to sleep!

(sorry for that last rant there, I just felt that it’s something I really want to share with pet owners, because it’s such an important point)